Look Again

What a mess. This was my first Lisa Scottoline book, and it'll probably also be my last. This book was just... all over the place. I can't think of a single thing that I can say I actually liked about it, besides the fact that it's over. This book was like being hit over the head with... well, all of the things. My brain is now mush. So, here's what I got out of this book.

Ellen Gleeson, a REPORTER, sees a age-progressed missing child picture on one of those cards they send you in the mail, and

What a mess. This was my first Lisa Scottoline book, and it'll probably also be my last. This book was just... all over the place. I can't think of a single thing that I can say I actually liked about it, besides the fact that it's over. This book was like being hit over the head with... well, all of the things. My brain is now mush. So, here's what I got out of this book. Ellen Gleeson, a REPORTER, sees a age-progressed missing child picture on one of those cards they send you in the mail, and it looks EXACTLY like HER adopted SON, Will, who she adopted. Not close, not 'sorta looks like him', not 'could be brothers'... EXACTLY like him. (That creepy guy in the trenchcoat taking pictures from across the street last week? NOT a creeper after all... but a time traveler snagging a picture so that he can go back to the past and call it "age-progression". What? Time travelling photographers are more realistic than most of what happened in this book.) Anyway, so Ellen, the REPORTER, has this little WHO IS MY BABY? earwig burrowing into her mind and can't let it go. OH! And did I mention that she's a REPORTER, but that her newspaper could be firing her because layoffs, and she thinks her boss with an accent is hot, and he thinks SHE is hot, and she doesn't get fired in the first round where her boss sermonizes about how much he loves the REPORTER business for 45 minutes of completely pointless time except to show that he's a GOOD GUY WITH A HEART OF GOLD, but maybe later in the month it'll be her time, so she should do her job and not be distracted or miss deadlines or not file the story she's given to REPORT, or take vacation... which she does, but it's ok because GOOD GUY WITH A HEART OF GOLD REPORTER boss doesn't fire her ever. LUCKY and completely REALISTIC. Ellen is probably the BEST reporter I've ever seen. She asks all the right questions and doesn't jump to any conclusions. But even if she did, it would be OK because all of her stories are about the same thing (HERSELF) so they are all the BEST stories because

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since she adopted her son, WILL, she's got MOMMY MAGIC so she doesn't need to be good at anything else! Like REPORTING. MOMMY MAGIC means you can just FEEL the right thing at all times, and makes critical thinking, good judgement, and rationality invalid. Case in point: - Sledding = DANGER!- Running with a plastic lightsaber = DANGER!- Driving at high speeds, while texting, at night, in 8 inches of snow & blizzard conditions = perfectly fine because MOMMY MAGIC!- MOM JEANS.MOMMY MAGIC also means never having to decide anything ever. On the back of this book, LOOK AGAIN, by LISA SCOTTOLINE, it says that there's a MORAL DILEMMA. That is wrong. There is no moral dilemma because MOMMY MAGIC! Everything that ELLEN, the MOMMY, thinks about has already been decided for her by outside forces of EVIL, named Sarah Liu. But we can't feel sorry for SARAH LIU, because she's only EVIL because she's a CUTTHROAT REPORTER who is secretly caring for her husband who has MS, so that is why she had to BETRAY her fellow REPORTER, Ellen, who is a mommy like SARAH, who also has MOMMY MAGIC, in order to get ONE MILLION DOLLARS. That is also why SARAH quit her job as a REPORTER, because ONE MILLION DOLLARS is a lot of money and will support a family of 4, ESPECIALLY one with man who has a serious illness FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. There is no need to work. WILL, Ellen's son, named Will, who is adopted, and also had heart problems from before he was adopted to be Ellen's son, also has MOMMY MAGIC, in that because he says "Mommy!" a lot, that makes him, Will, Ellen's son. Ellen's adopted son, WILL, is precocious and very intelligent and can TRACE ALL BY HIMSELF. He is THREE YEARS OLD and talks like he is 6 years old. This proves that ELLEN, Will's MOMMY, is a good mommy because he is ADVANCED. THINGS HAPPEN. MOMMY MAGIC means that nobody can say this book is bad because EMOTIONS. ELLEN, WILL'S MOMMY, is proven to be his MOMMY because other people are BAD and GREEDY and don't deserve him, and she WINS. But she's NICE so she lets the LOSER visit because she knows that MOMMY MAGIC means that she will never lose her child, Will, who she adopted, and is now her son who calls her MOMMY. ALSO, ELLEN, Will's mommy, has sex in Chapter 69 with her GOOD GUY WITH A HEART OF GOLD REPORTER boss who then proposes to her because after having sex one time they are beyond dating and already know everything there is to know about each other and he knows that they will have a happy and wonderful life together after their WEDDING, during which he will be granted DADDY MAGIC and be invincible too.

The end.

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Category: Review

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